President Bush according to White House officials "lost his marbles" after the Iraq Study Group basically called the president a knuckle head. Bush, pen in hand, globe by his side told his aide to "Find that Viet Country" on the round ball so that he (the president) could see it as he officially signed an official declaration of war against the nation of South Vietnam.
The aide, sources say quickly pointed Bush's attention to the country NORTH of where he was looking causing Bush to white-out "South" on his war declaration and replace it with "North East". The aide, taking matters into his own hand whited out the president's entry and replaced it with "North".
Inside sources say that the president, humiliated by his failure to "do anything remotely close to even being right" thinks that he can vindicate what's left of his rapidly plunging approval rating before it falls below zero by starting yet another war, this time in a country which America has considerable experience in devastating.
Nguyen Minh Triet, president of North Vietnam upon hearing that he was now again at war with the United States immediately called his friend Hu Jintao, president of China for assistance, perhaps of the nuclear kind. Jintao, officials say, told the Vietnamese president that he would check his arsenal and "think about it" raising the specter of the possibility of global nuclear war should Bush attack North Vietnam.
"I don't give a rat's pa-TOOIE" Bush told reporters when asked why he was about to start World War 3. Bush went on to tell the reporters, "Congress is adjourned I can do what I want how about THAT Nancy? We're stay'n the course in Iraq so we'll need to re-institute the draft in order to get new troops to go invade that Viet place."
Unconfirmed sources say that with the president's new draft, the enlistment age limit will be raised to 72. Bush went on to add, "Kerry likes to drive swift boats? Well, heh, he's about to get second chance lol."
Future House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was unavailable for comment.