Donald Trump, self-proclaimed serial-divorcee and stud and antagonist of whoever isn't in the audience at the time, has sworn in migrant blood he'll make America grate again. No one doubts it.
Much admired by North Korean leader Kim Il Big Fat Bastard for his similar tastes in strange hair styles and playing with intercontinental missile buttons, Trump recently announced his first action as president will be to nuke China, India, Korea ( both bits) and, if they're not careful again, Granada. Trump calls his policy "Rubble Economics". Having subdued the other world super powers Mr Trump intends to force these countries to rebuild their economies by buying reconstruction materials from America at exhorbitant prices. Meanwhile the rubble will be used to build his "Grate Wall of Mexico".
While most economists and world leaders doubt Trump's plan will work, his more moderate followers in the Real Ku Klux Klan and Aryan Brotherhood have praised Mr Trump's vision. KKK Grand Mufti Chief Kahuna Elmore Fuchdude told a gathering of Klansmen in Biloxi Mississippi this week " Ya'all listen to me. Donald Trump's gone done a real fine thang by declarin' war on all them nigger-lovin', slope-headed, slanty eyed, curry munchin', turban-wearin', gooks. He's gonna settle our scores with all those non-whities once and for all and make America grate again and we'll string up a few Jews for good measure to show our support".
Trump spokeswoman Svetlana Sucksdonsdickovich said Mr Trump was "touched by the Klan's heartfelt support and was looking forward to working with them to cleanout the illegal migrant vermin in American jobs just as soon as he'd finished winning World War 3". So far the Clinton camp has declined to comment although they have sought independent diagnoses of Trump's psychoses.