Written by Duff
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Friday, 8 December 2006

image for Radical Cure Gets Headmaster's "Volt"
Danger, danger - High voltage!

Headmaster, Ellis Dee, has come up with a novel idea of how to deal with the disruption in classes caused by kids in his school diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ABC).

"I have been against the idea of giving kids what are essentially strong drugs like Ritalin to combat this problem. In my opinion not enough research has been done into long-term effects of these medicines" the learned fellow tells us.

"I feel there are more traditional methods that can be employed to deal with this issue. In my opinion we need look no further than the secret police forces from around the world. That's the approach we follow here. So when one of these little sods kicks off we frog- march him down to the sick room where matron attaches electrodes to his nadgers; a quick belt of juice and that's it sorted. He'll not kick off for at least another week" continues Dee with a manic look in his eye.

When we asked him if perhaps this wasn't a rather barbaric answer to the problem, the nutty professor said:

"Sometimes you've got to be cruel to be kind and it really is the best answer in the long run. One day they'll look back and thank me for it"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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