Written by Backandtotheleft
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Wednesday, 3 August 2016

Legendary ass clown terrorist group Boko Haram have a new leader and much like gynaecologists they love a good cunt. The announcement was made in the latest issue of a IS magazine which doubles up as toilet paper in most countries it's sold in.

Abu Musab al-Barnawi has taken command of a group that gained international fame by kidnapping a group of school girls. Using similar tactics to most Western paedophiles to spread fear. He replaces fellow asshat Abubakar Shekau who seems to have disappeared, hopefully all of his genetic material has done the same.

Abu Musab al-Barnawi appeared in a video confirming his rise to power. Luckily for the viewers he was wearing a big over his head, he is said to feel right at home as the whore houses he visits often ask him to do the same.

He takes over a group who commands as much respect as a hardened four year old wank sock and holds about as much territory as Back and to the Left News's back garden. But he remains confident that he is going to be a important player in the world, claiming that the group has been "drawing new recruits". Literally drawing new recruits, cutting them out and sticking them to trees in an effort to look scary.

One ranting, murderous (probable) paedophile is exactly the same as any other and we can't imagine that this one will change the groups image. When asked about Abu a Nigerian minister said:

Are they still going? Their like a bad boy band from the 90's. Except more likely to cause cancer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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