Written by joseph k winter
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Sunday, 24 July 2016

image for Surveys show US electorate ready for military coup and search for "a real leader"
Updating First Lady Imagery to "hot" drew high response in the surveys

Exhaustive spoof surveys show the mood of the public is basically at "fed up" with the current presidential candidates.

Which candidate is actually the WORST indicates a dead heat.

On "the lesser evil" question, Mr. Trump scored as many points as Ms. Clinton, although professors at MIT weighed in that Ms. Clinton's being female ultimately decided the evidence in her favor.

However, a new incendiary investigation by wikileaks shows emails from Ms. Clinton "looking for a testicles implant surgeon."

This factor calls for new testosterone calibrations for each candidate in the lesser of two evils assessment.

Additionally, on the eve of the Democratic National Convention, Ms. Clinton has added to the complexity with--

"Believe me, I've got the balls to see this fight all the way to the finish!"

Mr. Trump meanwhile responded that the power, durability, and overall weight and density of his equipment in this respect had long ago settled who should win.

"Do you see my hair?" he added. "Hair and strength are biblical. Hair indicates virility. Putin is fascinated. He is cross-eyed whenever he looks at my hair."

The electorate remains unimpressed and evidently hungry for a new system, with military coup now entering the discourse.

In this respect Mr. Erdogan's response to the recent coup in Turkey, in which he took it over so as to bring on more law and order, plus new respect for himself, has drawn attention.

An "Erdogan-style coup" gets high response, with the proviso that a former president of the United States also might be drawn back into the office to solve the current crisis.

The job search could go out to global leaders looking for additional work outside their domain.

Mr. Erdogan is an example. Recently retired Mr. Cameron of the UK, Chancellor Merkel of Germany, and former President of France Mr. Sarkozy could also be pressed to apply.

Plus Mr. Sarkozy's wife would add more heat and glamor than usual to the position of First Lady.

On that note, Kate Middleton, spouse to the UK's Prince William would also add a certain flourish to White House photography.

And why not some British royalty leading the US for a change anyway?

As to US presidents who might consider this action, Mr. Obama has declined because his family has decided to emigrate somewhere with white beaches and year round summer temperatures.

Mr. Clinton has indicated his business dealings, unfortunately, would prevent him accepting the role.

Mr. George W. Bush replied he would consider resuming the office if he would be allowed to travel outside the country without risking arrest as a war criminal.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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