Written by Michael Balton
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Monday, 18 July 2016

image for Pokémon mania prompts the emperor to resign
The next generation of Pokémon.

The Royal Palace, Tokyo - - Japanese Emperor Akihito has abdicated his throne to become a professional Pokémon GO player.

The Japanese government admits it was taken by surprise by the resignation. It announced that a robot built by Honda would wear the crown until a replacement could be found.

"I don't think anyone will notice a difference," said a spokesman for the Japanese Parliament. "Honda is very proficient in its political programming. Plus, the robot can double as an automotive crash test device in the event of a highway accident."

Akihito, meanwhile is relishing his new role as a Pokémon Hunter. "I'm taking this game to the next level. Instead of using a smart phone to capture the little critters, I use a good old fashion Remington 12 gauge shotgun.

"Mr. Dick Cheney from America taught me this method. It's much more realistic. "

But the Japanese Emperor is in it for more than the adventure. He intends to create a business around the Pokémon craze.

"It is a little known fact that Pokémon are a delicious delicacy. The Pikachu especially. We are going to open a chain of dining establishments that feature royal Pokémon as a signature item.

"With all due respect, you can forget about your sushi. Our menu of Pokémon delicacies will want you to catch them all."

Clinics contend that the former ruler's Pokémon plan is just a pipe dream. They argue that Alzheimer's symptoms are kicking in, since Pokémon only exist in the digital world.

"There are those who do not understand the emperor's power of creation. There were no nuclear reactorss on the seashore before I imagined them. That worked out, didn't it?"

Akihito says that he's going to start his restaurant business with a chain of outlets in America. "We plan to call shops Eat Here or Die Yankee Dog. Pretty catchy don't you think?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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