Written by Paul Blake
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Tuesday, 12 July 2016

image for Man Playing Pokémon Go App Eaten By Lions
Hungry Lions love Pokémon Go Just As Much As Humans!

Kenya, Africa - The instant addiction to the new Pokémon Go game has already reached all corners of the globe, causing its players all sorts of unique injuries in pursuit of hunting Pokémon. But one poor Kenyan fellow won't be Facebooking his injuries as a source of game-enthusiast pride... because a male lion ate this player's arms off and a good part of his torso too, leaving the rest for his pride to gnaw on.

Police say that the unobservant man, Makembe Dewimbo, was led by his silly new phone app down to a well-used watering hole after the sun had set, which the game claimed was a PokéStop. So enthralled with gathering a few new Pokéballs to capture a few more Pokémon to add to his Pokédex before bedtime, Mr. Dewimbo had failed to realize that he was about to get his Humanballs poked and chewed off, adding himself to a lion's Humandex.

Makembe's final tweet was apparently, "You are a douche-bag Prof. Willow!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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