Washington D.C.: In the first bilateral effort since the inception of the United States, Republicans and Democrats have unanimously decided to install British Queen Elizabeth II as the next president after Obama leaves office.
"Let's be honest: She has more political experience than most of these candidates
anyways," says anonymous senator Elizabeth Warren. "Furthermore, as a ruler not aligned with either party, she will be able to bring both sides to the negotiating table."
It is unclear whether the Queen will decide to rule the U.S. and Britain separately or as a pan-Anglo democracy.
But what is clear is that every American will now have to undertake an annual pilgrimage to England to pay homage her baby grandson Prince George of Cambridge.
Long live her majesty the queen!