Written by Chris Hanson
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Topics: Food, Condoms

Thursday, 7 December 2006

image for Naked Paris Hilton Endorses "Tongue Condom" For Weight Loss
Slips right over the tongue

PARIS - Celebrity socialite Paris Hilton is to appear naked in a series of ads promoting the "Tongue Condom" (TC) as an effective weight loss tool.

Produced by the French firm Serviette, designed to fit tightly over the tongue, the TC prevents the wearer from tasting what he or she is eating.

The device has already become an essential item for French people traveling to countries known for atrocious food, even though Pope Benedict has denounced it as a gateway to contraception.

Now Serviette is striving to create a global market for its product.

The company summoned reporters for an advanced screening of the ad, in which Hilton dons the condom, then passes up cakes, pies, cookies, and bowls of whipped cream in favor of the chef. The two disrobe and disappear behind a screen. Hilton reemerges, weighs herself, and declares hilariously, "I have lost another half pound!"

Serviette spokesman Jean Mendez De Bovorille showed the reporters another ad in which actor George Clooney puts on the condom, eats a meal of Campbell's pork and beans and hot dogs prepared by his mother-in-law, and lavishly praises her cooking. He then winks at the camera. The ad is very witty.

The TC is a response to research which found that Frenchmen without taste buds were more likely than the control group to eat at least small portions of Franco-American canned spaghetti, Velveeta processed cheese, and overcooked Brussels sprouts.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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