Written by Bobby Dazzler
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Wednesday, 28 October 2015

image for Man wins woman of the year award
TRUCK

A 38 year old man from Belfast, Northern Ireland has won this year's woman of the year award.

Patrick McMahon, who works as a long distance truck driver delivering stationery, is said to be delighted at being this year's recipient.

Speaking from his lorry at a lay-by on the M25 Mr McMahon had this to say:

"I'm really delighted, so I am. I didn't even know I was nominated. My mates at the depot. did it as a laugh, so they did. I bet they're not laughing now!"

Since winning the award, Mr McMahon has graced the covers of Marie-Clair, Woman's Own and the Fortean Times and has been hailed as truly brave and inspirational.

When asked if it has changed his life Mr McMahon replied, "I'm just an ordinary bloke, so I am. The best thing about winning is that it has made me a real babe magnet, so it has. Which hasn't gone down too well with the Missus!" He chortled.

Mrs Merryweather, organiser and one of the judges of Woman of the Year had this to say.

"When we received Mr McMahon's application we were instantly struck by his, well, let's say balls! He is a true hero, without him millions of ordinary people wouldn't receive their paper clips. And more importantly he has really broken down the stereotype of what it means to be a woman in today's society. He has shown that yes, a woman can be a truck driver, and yes, she can also identify as being a man. This proves that being a woman isn't all about what you have between your legs. It's about courage, determination and the will to succeed against the odds. Mr McMahon has demonstrated all of these qualities and more. He has had to battle against being too thin and short-sighted to achieve his dream of being a lorry driver. Thankfully he has overcome these obstacles and that is truly inspirational."

The Duchess of Cornwall will hand Mr McMahon his award at a star-studded ceremony to be held at London's Premier Travel Lodge in Walthamstow. "I'm really excited about going to the ceremony, so I am' he said. 'I've washed my old T Shirt especially for the occasion, so I have. I wouldn't want to let myself down by appearing with egg stains down my front, so I wouldn't"

Mrs Merryweather has since resigned from her position at Woman of the Year and has been invited by the Prime Minister to join his cabinet as the new gender and equalities minister.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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