Kim Jong-un, aka Kim Fook Yall, Supreme Leader of the of the Extremely Happy Dream Paradise Thin People's Republic of Korea, Chairman of the Rapidly Disappearing Central Military Commission, World Champion Kids Slide Rider and Undisputed World Heavy Weight Basketballer, has announced he has bought Prince Charles' ears.
Speaking from behind a still-smoking anti-aircraft gun in his private water playground in Pyongyang, Mr Fook Yall explained. "As North Korea's Hottest, Best Joke-Telling, Superior-Hung Man, when I introduced my Patriotic Power Haircut in 2013 I made very clever, secret special allowance for Prince Charles' ears. Prince Charles, leader of pathetic island in the North Atlantic we shall soon nuke, and a man with nearly as many fake degrees as me, has agreed his ears deserve to go to a man with sufficient room in his haircut. Once fitted, all the women in the world will find me irresistible, clever ploy I thought of to achieve global domination without hitting my big red buttons.
Buckingham Palace declined to comment on the deal, although an insider admitted that the deal was a big weight off Prince Charles' shoulders.