Written by T. J. Grover
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Saturday, 23 May 2015

image for Tea Party All-Stars to Negotiate Merger with ISIS Following 'Beheading Obama' Pic Posted

Twenty minutes of Photoshop has caused the two greatest terrorist organizations in the world to come together to destroy democracy. Thanks, Adobe.

On Saturday, a supporter of ISIS (Islamic State of Iraq and Syria) released a graphic photo of President Barack Obama being beheaded on Twitter. While the photo is completely fake (Obama was getting Twitter-trolled by Bill Clinton at the time), it has inspired those who hate powerful black men more than each other (or more than they care to follow their religion) to come together to try and make that fake photo a reality.

Tea Party bozos Dr. Ben Carson, Ted Nugent and Donald Trump have announced they will be flying to Baghdad on Monday to discuss the possibility of a merger between ISIS and the Tea Party in their continued efforts to kill Barack Obama and/or Hilary Clinton.

"I'm excited to be going back to Baghdad," Nugent said in a joint statement. "This is just the help we need to get that Mus- subhuman mongrel out of our country! I'm even gonna wear the 40-year old jeans I shit in for a month to get out of the draft. I'll fit right in with the other anim- locals!"

"This is an answered prayer," Dr. Carson added. "With Obama gone, Americans will no longer be enslaved by welfare, and by welfare I mean opportunity. No one on any kind of welfare should be able to rise to higher aspirations as I have. It'd be an honor if I was the last American to ever do it."

"I've managed a lot of business deals, but this may be the apex of my career," said Trump. "Dealing with ISIS will be very difficult, they're not very classy. But this is what I do, I build things. I build casinos, I build empires, I build teams. And when this deal is closed, I'll be the greatest team builder in the history of the world."

When pressed for comment, the NSA would only give me a simple statement: "Those ISIS bums sure know how to recruit."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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