Written by Paul Blake
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Friday, 22 May 2015

image for Italian Navy Tows Jay Z and Beyonce's Yacht To Port For Smuggling Refugees.
55 servants and 1 hound dog were arrested aboard Jay Z's boat.

Italy (the toe part) - The Italian Navy towed a gleaming white mega-yacht into port, allegedly belonging to rap mogul Jay Z and Pop Star wife Beyonce, for allegedly trying to smuggle more than fifty refugees into Europe, authorities say.

But, Jay-Bee reps tell reporters outside the Cabanzano Courthouse, that it was all a big-ass misunderstanding, and that all those black people on deck were not African refugees --but a traveling entourage of highly specialized servants!

"Yes, your Honor, there were five different types of massage artists on board the boat - but the two stars need each and every single one of them! Two each - and one for Blue Ivy!" cried the pop duo's lawyer, Bernie Goldbar, counting off the masseuses on his fingers, in the Italian courtroom earlier today.

Indeed, as can be collaborated by many other celebs, the power couple's traveling crew of regular yacht servants does usually exceed the "50" mark in Europe - a benchmark seen by most other mega-celebrities to be quite gosh to overstep. "Yeah, that's probably way too many servants to be floatin' around out in the Mediterranean with, yo!" said Justin Bieber, after he heard the news of the couple's arrest. "You gotta be keepsin' it a little lower profile than that, dudes! I mean, I never bring more than 3 massusers when I'm out in the Med - and I defs leave all my drug dealers on shore too, yo - and just have my dad hold my stash if we get snagged by the water po-po."

Smart advice, perhaps, from a man not known for making great decisions of late.

The Italian judge presiding in the 'Z Family' case, is scheduled to make his final decision, directly after he has finished deliberating the work of each and every Head Pastry chef that was on that yacht - and personally examines the qualifications of each and
every massage artist, too!

Breaking News Update -- Jay Z and Beyonce have decided to buy Italy, in order to clear up the matter quickly, and resume their vacation.

So, happy endings for everyone, it seems!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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