Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 7 May 2015

image for Progress 69 Spacecraft: what are the odds of being fried by falling debris?
Bad news, Ma'am! Prince Charles has put all his money on the rocket crashing on top of you

The Cosmos - A dead Russian supply ship called Progress 69 is hurtling out of control somewhere in the stratosphere ahead of an imminent crash landing on planet Earth tomorrow.

And everybody could be affected.

Scientists at Moscow's Bigears Space Academy describe the rogue seven ton cargo vessel as bulging with rations bound for the International Space Station.

Including a whole year's supply of toilet paper.

Statistically up to five tons of the Progress craft are likely to burn up on re-entry in the Earth's atmosphere with the remaining two tons probably falling into an ocean.

Unless some karmic shit is lurking, of course.

Commenting on statistical probability of a major disaster occuring internet bookmakers Aintgottaprayer.con said today, "Shit happens 95% of the time."

Hopefully in somebody else's back yard.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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