Written by Gareth Carpenter
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Topics: bald, Italy

Friday, 28 November 2003

image for Mussolini's granddaughter hits back at 'tosser' jibe
Fini (left) with Benito Mussolini in drag

The granddaughter of Italy's former fascist dictator Benito Mussolini is leaving the right-wing National Alliance party - because its leader Gianfranco Fini called him a "fat, bald, murderous little tosser".

Deputy Prime Minister Fini's outburst against Mussolini came during a recent visit to Israel. After laying a wreath at the Holocaust Monument in Jerusalem, Fini admitted that Mussolini had been "Hitler's gimp" and had "really arsed things up for Italy".

"He was a right plonker," continued Fini. "He dragged the country into a disastrous war it was not prepared for, strutted around in silly uniforms and generally liked the sound of his own voice. Rumour has it he had halitosis as well."

Alessandra Mussolini said she was cancelling her membership of the National Alliance because of Fini's comments.

"My granddad never hurt a soul," she claimed. "Although I never knew him personally, my mother tells me he had a soft side that you never read about in the papers. Often when Uncle Adolph used to come and visit, Granddad Beni would let her sit on his knee while they played around with maps and pins. Sometimes he would even let her sit in on executions."

Fini, who once described Mussolini as the "greatest statesman of the 20th century" refused to comment on his puzzling about-turn, choosing instead to hit back at Miss Mussolini.
"She looks like her grandfather in drag," he quipped.

Italy's current fascist dictator Silvio Berlusconi was unavailable for comment but his daughter Marina said he would go down in history as a "far greater statesman than ever Mussolini was."

"My dad has never got the country involved in a disastrous war," she said. "And I bet Mussolini never had three television channels and the distribution rights to Blockbuster Videos."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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