Brian 'Taffy' Thomas is livid with rage today because instead of being the world's richest man he's living in reduced circumstances in the Royal Hospital London as a Chelsea Pensioner.
Brian (82) claims that it was actually him and his now deceased brother Johnny, who invented the Windows Operating System for computers and not in fact Bill Gates. He told the Spoof's Hi-tech geek:
"Listen son...what's your name? I'm 82 and I've got all me own teeth you know? When I come back from the war they said they'd see me right" before adding:
"'Ere son what we 'avin' for tea tonight? I 'ope it ain't bleedin' curry again!"
When our reporter asked him about his extraordinary claim he said:
"Oh yeah son. That was me and Johnny all right! Now would an old gent like me fib about that? I'm 82 you know?"
We contacted computer giant Microsoft and asked for a comment. A spokesman told us:
"Mr Gates is a big fan of your soccer and has a lot of time for his fellow Chelsea multi-millionaire Mr Abramovich. They met one time in a Beverly Hills restaurant".
After exhaustive searches at the Chelsea library The Spoof can find nothing to corroborate Mr Thomas's extraordinary claims, but this story does perhaps shed light on why Bill Gates sometimes looks a bit shifty.
It could well be a case of "There's no smoke without fire is there?"