Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 26 February 2015

image for Londoner Ham Id El-Weedi identified as notorious 'Jihadi John'
Run down London social housing estate where el-Weedi was radicalised

London - Accomplished London Borough of Tooting crack dealer Ham Id El-Weedi has been identified as serial beheader Jihadi John.

Described by notorious gangland mobsters the Kray Twins as 'mild mannered and kittenish' in comparison to Mrs Thatcher el-Weedi is the FBI's top-wanted decapitation thug.

This evening TV reports from Bogeymanistan showed him smoking a 'bloody great big hookah' at the 'run down social housing estate' where cops reckon the terrorist was radicalised.

A cloud of purplish Equinox Skunk hexoplasm wafts around the Jihadi's chillum creating vague 'IS' patterns in the stagnant London air.

Psychologists assessing el-Weedi said they believe he arrived in Great Britain as a brand new baby after shady dealings with a disgruntled Kuwaiti whose wife left him for a Dobermann Mastiff.

And so he was adopted under the radar while his actual birth mother - a very important lady Tory - was bunged a few hundred thou from a Chinese bank.

Commenting one el-Weedi's imminent capture a FBI dog handler said, 'Woof, Woof!' tonight.

All frights deserved.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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