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Monday, 27 November 2006

image for Polonium 210 found at Polish embassy-in-exile
Rollmop was taken for tests - Results confirm "Delicious"

Warsaw - (Associated Mess): Traces of the radioactive toxin Polonium 210 have been found in a consignment of traditional Yuletide roll-mop herrings at the Polish embassy-in-exile in Warsaw, the official legation representing quaint separatist factions loyal to the Polish Government in Exile based in London since 1940.

This movement still refuses to recognise that its founding fathers, the Polish Fascist Party, had anything to do with inviting Adolf Hitler to help out with a little local ethnic cleansing problem back in 1939.

Its London HQ at 210 Mussolini Avenue, Barking, has been the subject of protracted enquiries by Interpol since large sums of cash went missing from its accounts in 1982 following the mysterious 'suicide' of financial director Roberto Calvi - a.k.a. the God's Banker.

Today's toxic find is being probed by law enforcement agencies who are keen to confirm reports that it is part of a consigment of contraband seized in October by a Swiss Navy patrol on routine duties in its country's territorial waters.

Meanwhile in London officers of the Met's dodgy ex-KGB colonels enquiry division are weighing up information received that hapless former Russian spook Alexander Litvinenko may have got his food-poisoning dates wrong when making a statement to police investigators.

It now appears that the November 1st date could be inaccurate by as much as three hours following the discovery of central London CCTV footage showing Mr L being accosted by a posse of Halloween trick-or-treaters outside the Sushi bar where he dined that evening.

Enquiries are continuing.

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