London - A new pervy scandal is about to erupt after top Establishment toff Sir Bunty Luftwaffe KGB & Bar was caught with his panzers down at Buckingham Palace.
Three shagged-for-shit corgis had to be euthanised along with the Queen's Official Dumb Waiter-in-Waiting.
Footage of the whole sordid escapade then went viral on the Royal YouBoob! Web.
Sir Bunty is godfather to the Queen's geraniums a position at court that carries some snout. Eh, clout.
Last month footmen caught him in delicto fragrente at the Palace Ha Ha shagging Prince Andrew's pet baboon Samantha.
The silly ape's now threatening to sue him about fathering her mixed-species baby something that will drive the Queen apeshit it she ever finds out.
And in breaking news the Duke of Wet-Wipe Fatberg has just been arrested for bribing the Head of Invertebrates at Barnstaple Zoo about some extracurricular heavy petting in the Kiddies' Petting Zoo Garden.
Expect a full statement about all this sordid stuff from the Palace tomorrow at noon.