CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) have just received following newsflash from Hilversum, Holland!
"The gentleman who stormed Dutch TV station, NOS, has decided not to demand having sex with Queen Maxima in public and wishes to apologise. Instead he is demanding that Dutch export Nr1, Louis van Gaal, returns to Holland because life just aint the same here without him! There is no one to take the piss out of only Johann Cruyff and King William. Geert Wilders is worth having a pop at, but if he gets rid of him everything will turn 'flat' as Dutch pancakes or the general look of the country!
Police again ignored the idiot and returned to their barracks hoping he would pull the trigger on himself because there's no way King Louis is returning to Holland unless United stick the boot in his Jacksy!"
"A Dutch cleaning team made up of people Geert Wilders does not particularly like is refusing to clean up the bloody mess if he does blow his brains out and scientists have given up hope of finding any brains anyway!"
More as we get it from Jaggedone's CIA star reporter, Engelbert Cock-Weed the 5th!