Written by James Wallin
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Sunday, 26 November 2006

image for Murdoch Withdraws G.W "Confession" In Face Of Protests
If I had done it on the flimsiest of evidence and against the advice of the intelligence service, this is how I would have done it.

Media mogul and head of B-Scum-B, Rupert Murdoch has announced the withdrawal of the two-part interview and accompanying book featuring G.W Bush's hypothetical account of how he hoodwinked the American people and his partner Tony Blair into going to war, after a wave of public outrage.

Former American hero and draft dodger, G.W Bush was set to release the book, entitled If I had done it on the flimsiest of evidence and against the advice of the intelligence service, this is how I would have done it next week, coinciding with a televised interview with B-Scum-B's head of barrel scraping Judith Raygun.

The book, which Bush describes as a "yip-yap-yapper of a tale" includes passages where he describes how he would have deliberately misled the American public and his British ally into going to war, if that's what he had done. At one point he describes the abundance of oil that would have been generated if he had invaded Iraq for that reason: "Oil, oil everywhere. If I'd done it for the oil, which I didn't, I guess there would have been oil everywhere. Yee-haw!"

Relatives of the thousands of soldiers killed in the war claim that Bush reveals details in the book that he couldn't possibly have known if he hadn't committed the crime, such as when he writes "Yip-sireey, they would have handed me that intelligence report saying there was no smoking gun and I would have ripped it up and said 'Saddle up boys, we goin' in anyway!' But I didn't, ok."

Miss Raygun has defended her controversial interview by saying she did it for the money. Mr Murderoch released a statement today explaining that "Obviously in hindsight it was an ill-judged action but, hey, you can't blame me for that. I mean, you voted for the bloke. Twice. All I did was ply him with Coors Lite and ask him if he'd made his Daddy proud."

George Bush is a c(continued on p.94).

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