Written by Auntie Jean
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Friday, 9 January 2015

image for 500 Poodle Parlours Closed Down For Grooming Under-Age Dogs
Groomed by middle aged men

A six month surveillance operation on sleazy dog grooming premises throughout the U.K. ended this morning with almost 1000 arrests. Puppies are not legally allowed to be groomed before the age of 7 weeks. The sting, codename W.A.L.K.I.E.S and targetting under-age dog grooming at 500 corrupt "poodle parlours" has resulted in the arrest of 999 dog hygienists.

The poodle parlour consultants who are known to use social networking sites like Facebark and Litter, were thought to be mainly fat middle aged, balding dog owners using the identities of attractive young stray dogs. The vulnerable puppies, mostly from dysfunctional litters, were then tricked into following trails of dog biscuits and 'Pal Junior Delicious Meat for Dogs' into the back street parlours, where they were subjected to merciless combing, clipping and bathing. Instances have even been reported of puppies having had their testicles removed by back street vets. The puppies were then allegedly put with older dogs, then pimped on the streets by criminals charging £100 per trick and subjected to petting, patting and stroking and sometimes taken for walks.

According to reports, the puppies did not see any of the benefits of the punters' money and were fed on tripe and gristle.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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