A damage limitation excercise was mounted this morning after thousands of Paparazzi were noticed outside a Royal Prince's bedroom at Ferguson Palace. Royal advisors were known to have have subsequently met with the Duke of Edinburgh to explain the latest strategies to adopt to throw sand in the eyes of the media.
The Duke apparently leaned from one of the windows and threw a red fish out, later identified as a herring. He then asked the mass of photographers to explain the "ins and outs" of any allegations and to try to establish who was alleged to have done what and to whom and when and where.
The Duke is said to have tried to call in his well known friend and advisor, Queen Mudder to quell misunderstandings and try to unravel any sordid tangles, without realising she was a "broad".