Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 3 January 2015

image for Prince Andrew exiled to Falkland Islands until US sex slave orgy lawsuit blows over
Wannabe royal ladies-in-waiting ready to spill the beans in a Florida courthouse

Florida - Randy Andy will lie low at Gooose Green in the Falklands for the duration while a new, wholesome organic role is hammered out by the Palace.

That means he could be back in the saddle again as early as, uh, 2065 - all being well.

Only another 50 years or so for the storm to blow over.

That's the gist of advice from HM the Queen whose bloodpressure readings have gone ballistic with the publication of under-age sex orgy allegations and slavery stuff.

What's worse is that the whole sordid business has reignited ancient Brit sex scandals about Mrs Thatcher's husband Robert Maxwell - whose daughter Ghislaine is accused of acting as Andrew's royal pimp.

Next week a Florida courtroom will hear the blow-by-blow account of how unde age bimbos were used 'like meat' by pals of convicted billionaire paedo Jeffrey Epstein.

And how Prince Andrew was allegedly part of that filth. Something he has strongly denied.

Commenting on the upcoming headlines a Florida attorney said, "Frankly the gug is totally f***ed".

The Queen's life support medication haas been upped to critical.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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