Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 27 December 2014

image for Argentine President Cristina Kirchner adopts Israeli PM Netanyahu 'to stop him turning into a werewolf'
President Kirchner will bestow her personal tattoo during nxt week's adoption ceremony

Buenos Aires - "As well as gorging on excrement, unbaptized babies and the flesh of the recently deceased, the werewolf is an unnaturally strong creature that spreads its curses with a lethal venomous bite," Argentina's President Cristina Fernández de Kirchner explained today as the news story broke.

Her adoption of Israeli Prime Monster Benjamin Netanyahu is part of a national tradition stretching back to 1907 when original adoption arrangements for suspected werewolves were formally codified into law.

Since then every 10 years during a wintry fool moon the President of Argentina commits to rescuing another suspect to prevent him/her wreaking havoc on the international stage.

"Argentinians' fear of the werewolf is deeply embedded in the national psyche," Buenos Aires shrink Professor Belgrano Las Malvinas commented, "to the extent that in the 19th century some families abandoned or even murdered baby boys born with furry faces.

"Premier Netanyahu is lucky he still only needs to shave three times a day."

Decades of Argentinian infanticide pandemics eventually sparked the unusual Presidential practice of adopting well known foreign werewolves in an appeasement-of-the-sods - uh, gods! - move practised to this day.

Next week a formal dedication ceremony in the Presidential Palace will see Netanhayu stripped, shaved, waxed and plucked before Madame Kirchner bestows her personal tattoo.

The televised initiation rite will be streamed live on this website.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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