Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 18 December 2014

image for Winter Solstice: bookies suspend odds on Queen ejaculating - no, wait...abdicating!
A cup of festive mulled hemlock, Ma'am?

Cyberspace - A ton of money has been bet on Queen Elizardbirth fabricating from the Throne of Albion on Sunday's upcoming Feast of Yule.

Odds setters at global internet spread betting giant Aintgottaprayer.con said today they'd been looking at emerging signs of rigor mortis before slamming shut the book.

Over a billion dollars had already been bet before an insider tip-off gave the thumbs up to Monday's Capricorn new moon when three days of mindblowing lunar astrology forecasts a major trip to the Royal Crem.

Commenting on the imminent RIP a lavatory attendant who works for Prince Philip said,'And about bloody time too, you f***ing prat'.

Boxing Day's King George meeting will now feature several royal whorses in a three furlong dash from the Palace straight to the Tower's dungeons.

Camilla Fucker Proles is 74.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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