Written by Auntie Jean
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Wednesday, 10 December 2014

image for Survey Shows 80% of People Will Not Be Told To Eat Porridge By Conservatives
Too expensive for the poor

Lady Jenkin's speech telling poor people to eat the disgusting sloppy prison fodder known as porridge fell on deaf ears yesterday.

The peer told the press conference, which was attended by the Pope and the archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, that low-income people who used food banks did so in part because they were not skilled enough to make porridge like she could.

Her words were in contrast to the conclusions of the cross-party report, which says issues such as benefit delays and cuts, coupled with low wages and rising living costs, are predominantly to blame for tens of thousands of families experiencing hunger.

"We have lost a lot of our cookery skills. Poor people do not know how to cook," Jenkin said. "I had a large bowl of porridge today, which to some people may well taste like dog vomit, but only costs 4p. A large bowl of delicious cereals will cost you 25p."

A survey revealed last week that more than 80% of people would not eat such disgusting crap for breakfast whether a Tory peer told them to or not.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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