Written by Auntie Jean
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Wednesday, 26 November 2014

image for Turkeys Fitted With Self Delivery GPS Guidance
Turkeys from flight to plate

The rivalry between established mail delivery departments such as the U.K. Post Office and Amazon etc. has been further complicated by the growing number of items being dropped at home adresses by drones and automated model delivery robots, but now live turkeys fitted with pigeon homing brains are about to deliver themselves to households by simply flying there. The birds will simply wait until someone opens the door on arrival and die with a Christmas card in their beaks.

All birds will drop dead on Xmas eve or the day before Thanksgiving, but some more expensive models will shed their feathers and die immediately their feet trigger a microswitch on landing. The birds, which are surprisingly strong fliers can manage to carry the whole of the Xmas dinner on their backs, but not yet stuff or clean themselves. Automatic cleaning and stuffing machines are at the prototype stage, and it is anticipated that the turkeys will fly or walk into the waiting devices eventually.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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