Written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw
Print this

Saturday, 4 October 2014

Battle lines in northern Iraq and Syria have fallen strangely silent in the past few days following the latest air strikes by coalition aircraft.

In a press conference this morning in Washington, the Joint-Rolling Chiefs of Stash explained the reason for their new found success.

"What we decided to try," explained Air Farce general Rod Slick, "is to drop porno mags and jars of vaseline on key ISIS strongholds. Oh, there's still plenty of shooting going on, but it's not lethal in nature!"

At this point, CIA psychologist Floyd Sigmund continued: "This outcome pretty much confirms what my colleagues and I have long suspected: What motivates young men from the West to leave their comfortable lives behind to get blown to smithereens in some goddam desert is not piety so much as frustration at their miserable failure to get their pathetic little rocks off."

"Exactly," interjected Slick. "And just think: Would any young man who's been around the block more than once choose seventy-two virgins over some hot suburban cougar milf who knows exactly what she wants and how to get it? "

Make Vlad D.M. Paylaw's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 5?

5 1 14 25
53 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more