Written by Gee Pee
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Friday, 5 September 2014

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Obummer: "No more sweet talk!"

EURO -- Away on yet another taxpayer-funded trip, President Barack Obummer has taken a stronger stance than he has to date concerning the terrorist army ISIS that is committing atrocities at will throughout the Middle East and that recently beheaded two former Americans, journalists James Foley and Stevens Sotloff.

Although only a week ago, Obummer admitted that he had "no strategy" for dealing with the terrorist army, he now says that he is "contemplating action of some sort, sooner or later."

The president, who has long regarded words to be more effective than actions, has taken a "tougher tone," White House officials claim, "and he is no longer mincing words."

The commander in chief has gone from talking about "containment" to talking about "degrading" the enemy. The Central Intelligence Agency, the National Security Agency, the Pentagon, and the president's bitter half, First Lady Michelle are devising a list of particularly hurtful insults to hurl at the brutal militant force. "Many are too degrading to mention," administration spokespuppets allege. "All of them will bruise the ego, and many will hurt feelings and lower the adversary's self-esteem."

Known for his "tough talk," Obama himself made two or three "degrading" remarks about ISIS during his participation at the recent NATO summit. "ISIS is strictly junior varsity," he quipped. "Just because they put on military uniforms, murder thousands, destroy historical and cultural artifacts, rape women, and behead my fellow Americans does not make them members of the varsity team."

By repeatedly engaging in "tough talk" and delivering "fighting words" with a "tough tone," Obummer says he will "ultimately destroy" ISIS and all similar organizations.

"They're about to receive a tongue lashing such as they've never heard before," Obummer vowed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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