WASHINGTON--From backyard cook-outs with friends to the recitation of Snoop Dogg lyrics, white Americans living in the United States ask the age old question: When is it okay for me to say the..."N-word"?
Today, September 1st, 2014, The Obama Administration has developed an answer to this historic question. Thus initiates the start of the Twelfth Congressional Sect also known as National Initiative Granting Heinous Access (NIGHA). This will allow Americans from all backgrounds unrestricted access to their first amendment right. However, individuals looking to say the word "Ni**a", "Ni**er", or even "Negro" will have to endure a 6 hour screening and interview process followed by a week long wait to be granted full permission to use said word(s).
In Obama's most recent press conference address he stated, "I believe that this will be a great step, rather, a great stride for the freedom of the American people... you jive ass niggas".
NIGHA will go on to take full effect nationwide one week from today. Already the city council of St. Louis has been overrun with calls and request from eager citizens.