Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 27 August 2014

image for Islamic State militants call Kenya's White Widow bomber a slut
Lewthwaite vehemently denies being an apostate cunning linguist

Baghdad, Iraq - A vicious slanging match has broken out at the notorious jihadi chat room Halal Spud-u-Like about British homegrown terrorist Samantha Lewthwaite, a.k.a. the White Widow.

Under the caption of A Hard Act To Swallow IS renegades posted what purports to be 'authentic' pics of the 27 year-old from Aylesbury, England, performing a delicate maneuver in the linguistic department on some 'lucky' muj. Yeah.

Within hours rival website QatarTwattar retaliated with a ten minute vid of Islamic State fighters snorting cocaine, knocking back Jack Daniels and transferring looted funds to their online Mossad pension fund accounts.

By sundown on Wednesday both sites had crashed following multiple denial of service attacks from the internet's dark pools.

Commenting on the spat an FBI cyber warfare specialist said the pics were probably some sort of 'Trojan' designed to infiltrate the Islamic State's offshore accounts.

Syria's Bashar al-Ass-Sad is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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