Written by Auntie Matter
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Tuesday, 26 August 2014

image for The One World Religion Begins
Now You can Pray to the American Dream

Since Pope John Paul 11 began the foundation work of building a One World Religion, the Jesuits, in obeyance to their current leader Pope Francis have been hard at work.

In a significant move to bring Protestant and Catholic churches together it was announced today by the Vatican that America's first president George Washington is to be canonized.

Washington was both a Master Freemason and an Episcopalian but the new rules passed by the curia now mean worthy candidates of any religion can be designated saints by the Holy See.

Explained Opus Dei treasurer and the Pope's spiritual advisor, Monseignor Juan Weevil: "We have waived the usual rigorous investigation into President Washington's life in order to establish his authenticity because his story is so well known and we have all seen the movies."

The requisite two miracles attributed to 'Saint George' were;
(1) Establishing forever the Masonic Order as the indestructible core of American government.
(2) Appearing in person at a Hollywood movie set to advise actor Christopher Walken on how he should be portrayed.

Critics see the move as a blatant attempt to weld all religions into one religion overseen by the Catholic Church, the hub for the One World Religion as laid out by the Masonic Jesuits of the New World Order. Others see it as hope for world peace when antagonistic beliefs can be laid to rest by a body of common doctrine. Many others see it as the apotheosis of the American economy.

Henceforth, St. George Washington will appear on the dollar bill sporting a halo. Good American Catholics can now pray to their very own Saint George to intercede with the banks for help with their mortgages.

Already, several art works have been commissioned, notably a statue of the great man to adorn an alcove at St. Peter's Basilica next to that of the founder of Opus Dei St. Josemaria Escriva. Another is a large painting to be created by David Bowie depicting the warrior-saint addressing his loyal soldiers from a small rowing boat on the Potomac.

"This is a canonization long overdue," said Jesuit spokesman Fr. Miles Fox. "God bless America!"

Said ex-President George W. Bush. "I was named after him, as we all know so. Therefore, I am especially gratified to see that he has finally got the recognition he deserves."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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