Written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw

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Sunday, 17 August 2014

An Aeroflot Airbus A330 was accidentally shot down on its approach to New Orleans by an as yet unidentified member of a duck hunting party led by Phil Robinson of "Duck Republic" fame.

Said Robinson, also famous for inventing the "Duck Dictator" duck call: "Some of my boys are into loadin' their own twelve-gauge shells. I tried to warn 'em about using too much of that fast-burnin' powder, but kids these days never listen."

His son, Willie, nursing a broken right collar bone and apparently deaf in the right ear, declined comment.

Crash scene investigators combing the swamp have found aluminium body panels that appear to have been perforated by #4 steel shot travelling at speeds of at least Mach 8, but, oddly, have uncovered no human remains. They did, however, spot a number of muddy footprints headed towards New Orleans.

In related news, gun shops in New Orleans just can't seem to keep silver bullets on the shelves, as the city finds itself swarmed by hundreds of Russian-speaking zombies.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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