Written by Jaime Tyler
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Thursday, 14 August 2014

Alexander Putin has once again lived up to his unpredictable reputation. Recent reports are breaking out of marijuana food trucks being sent into the Ukraine. US officials claim to have satellite imagery of a convoy consisting of more than 250 trucks headed toward the Ukrainian border. Putin's official statement was simple to say the least. "Everyone just needs to chill out, man. This will help," he said while walking into a well known brothel outside of Moscow.

Many leaders around the world have suggested this is just a way to disguise sending Russian Troops into the Ukraine to support separatists. The US along with other European countries have already imposed more sanctions on Russian Officials to set place if the trucks cross the border. The UN is sending a team of investigators to intercept These trucks once they near the border. "We just have to see whats in these trucks," explained a UN official. " And if we have to grab some samples to take back to the lab, that's just how it is," chuckled one of the investigators walking by.

The President will speak about these new reports in a press conference this afternoon, at 3pm on the White House Lawn. He was reached for a quick interview and when asked what his initial concerns were, the president firmly stated that he did not think Putin was taking things as seriously as he should be. "And also, why the fuck wasn't I offered any weed the many times I've been to Russia?" Obama scolded.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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