MOSUL- The fabled story book character, Little Miss Muffet, has joined the notorious Islamic State.
In a video published on Al Jazeera, Miss Muffet, dressed in a suicide vest and bearing an AK-47, pledged to bring "glory to the Caliph" and "wipe out the infidels."
She called on Jihadis to "kill and eat the devilish Kurds."
Sources in MI5 say Muffet discovered a robotic spider designed to gather intelligence. Muffet proceeded to flee the country for the Syrian border.
Mother Goose has been detained and charged for providing Muffet with material support.
Experts blame a rise in electronic media for alienating story book characters and causing them to turn to extremism.