Vlad The Cad's spin doctors are in such a dizzy state due to recent Russian Government problems that they are prescribing each other anti-spin pills. International esteem has lately been hanging out of the window for the beleaguered country.
"My spin teams are calling in sick and not turning up for work due to multiple embarrassments and pressure, Vlad told our Moscow reporter over a vodka. They have compared the feeling with having had too much vodka on an empty stomach, everything is whizzing around like a fairground ride. I hope I don't make any more silly cock ups now until the International situations that seem to be my fault are resolved."
"I've got none other than a very angry Obamah biting my ass at all hours of the day, The United Fucking Nations are knocking at my flat door and God knows what else. Most of the time I'm sucking my bloody thumb and hiding under a Duvet with my comfort blanket." Tomorrow I'm flying over the Ukraine Aarrgh!!!!"