HARFOLD, Vt - A new study at Harfold State College suggests that exposure to hydrogen sulfide gas, that is, what your body produces as bacteria breaks down food, could prevent mitochondria damage.
This is good news for the Miss Harfold Diner which holds an all-you-can-eat homemade bake bean supper every Sunday night.
Said cook Dawn Evans, "How many wives do we piss off every Sunday night by sending home their loved ones to stink up the nuptial bed?
"Well, those same women can thank us for helping to prevent cancer, strokes, heart attacks, arthritis, and dementia in their loved ones.
"Not that it's any fun trying to get skid marks out of boxer shorts."