Written by Dirk Action
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Topics: Shopping, Taliban

Sunday, 13 July 2014

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The BBC has revealed what's hot on the typical Taliban shopping list. Aside from the usual fare of whores and heroin, 'Head and Shoulders' shampoo is a favourite because it sounds like somebody has already been beheaded, yet it also gets rid of dandruff. Of course if you watch TV while munching a bacon sandwich as your daughter does homework at the kitchen table, the Taliban continue to remove your dandruff by reversion to the traditional method.

The purchase of western retail items is not unusual. Taliban troops regularly listen to silent records on their Hi Infidelity systems: Hammas and Papas, Rogers and Palestine. Surprisingly, they also adapt TV to their own needs:

"My kids really enjoy the Talitubbies for example" said Supreme Commander of Folding Deck Chairs Ali Alias:

"Shootadoobie! Let's picnicaroonie on the corpsy worpsies of decadent western blokiewokies"

"Ahh - so cute when young".

Have you ever bought a Booze O'Matic? we asked shortly before being shot up the ass.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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