Vatican City - (Associated Mess): The whingeing and whining at satirical pokes at the Vatican has escalated this weekend to a full-blown petulant sulk.
Papa Ratzi's secretary Monsignor Gang-Swine (sic) flounced off in a flourish of fragrant cerise and violet silk from a press conference podium after Rome's Il Fasciscto della Serra's reporter asked if God had forgiven cross-dressing Nazis and members of the Hitler Youth Brigade.
A tersely-worded statement issued from his office then promised to send the Thought Police after anybody making fun of grown-up men in garish dresses who flog the afterlife to witless gullible masses on planet Earth.
The announcement said that those who sinned by thought, word or deed by lampooning the Fuherer's Chosen One would pay with their souls: "And zat includes ze vryters at Ze Spoof!
"How ve hate zose Gotless bastards mit zer unfunny Third Reich fotograffen of ze Holy Farter und his boyhood Grand Master."
Meanwhile the world's press has picked up on the unholy row and is said to be taking up various Missionary positions in the argument.