Written by Kevin Nelson
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Monday, 30 June 2014

image for Pentagon Vows to Invade Cascadia as Soon as They Find it on a Map
U.S. Forces invading Cascadia ask for directions in Arizona.

The Pentagon and the NSA are in a fury over the growing independence movement in Cascadia. Cascadia which is regarded by many as the Scotland of North America.

Cascadia is nestled in the Pacific Northwest from the redwoods of California and northward to Oregon and Washington, crossing the U.S. border into British Columbia in Canada. The region is a hot bed of independent thought, resistance to the oil and coal industries as well engaging avidly in the un-american sport of Soccer. They even have the gall to call their teams FC's or Football Clubs. Cascadians also display and wave their blue, white and green Douglas Fir emblazoned flag instead of the U.S. flag. Anne Coulter would be rolling in her grave if she was actually dead.

Other un-American activities Cascadians engage in include participating in highland games, ecological activities, drinking micro-brew beer and abstaining from corporate owned fast foods and GMOs.

The crux of the problems is that many young Cascadians refrain from watching corporate owned news,they prefer reading independent sources of media. The fact they have become resistant to corporate media is of great concern to the NSA and the Pentagon. The Cascadian Independence Movement has even crossed generational lines and is fostering support from many segments of society in the Pacific Northwest.

The growing estrangement between Cascadians and the U.S. government has been over multiple issues such as a disproportionate military presence in the region, ecological issues, sustainability, the growing trend of the Cascadia Region divorcing itself from fossil fuels,and it's budding green energy sector which will harm oil company profits.

Other issues include devaluation of the U.S. Dollar, lack of representation in the U.S. Government as well as resentment towards a corporate owned government. The Cascadians prefer a grass roots democracy where the people are represented equally without regard for corporate sponsored politicians.

The Pentagon has vowed to crush the Cascadian insurrection but they army has yet to figure out how to crush a resistance of non-cooperation or how to assassinate ideals .

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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