Paris - Thirty something years of wedlock to Vladimir has taught Lyudmilla Putin a thing or two about Russian men under five foot six her PR said today.
"He likes to think he wears the pants," the lovely former Mrs P tweeted as she posted pics of her shortarse ex-husband posing astride a snowy charger, naked save for a tigerskin thong.
"Is bespoke tiger's foreskin codpiece," Lyudmilla added, "a birthday present from latest Kremlin ho."
The photograph goes some way to explain mysterious bouts of anal chafing that plagued the Russian leader throughout his marriage, making him susceptible to sudden outbursts.
And nocturnal emissions during a fool moon.
This morning Mad Vlad's itchy-bum feeling came back with a vengeance during a Paris press conference where Putin bad-mouthed Hillary Clinton for being a typical hate-filled PMT hag.
Later TV coverage showed Vlad single-handedly wrestling what appeared to be a lactating 300 pound Momma Grizzly, a gift from the Peoples Democratic Republic of North Korea.
Dim Eatery Medvedev is 69.