Written by Jessburger
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Saturday, 31 May 2014

image for Malevolent Mascot Maraurdes Mongolian Metropolis
I'm Snortin' It

Disturbing images are filtering in through the Mongolian social media site, DuckSoup.web

Witnesses in one of Ulan Baator's biggest McDonald's "restaurants" have attested to seeing an 8 foot mascot dressed in the Sino-friendly version of Ronald McDonald, Motu-deng-pying, or: "The cowardly subservient imposter" beating children with a golf shoe.

The rampage began at around 11:15am when the mascot was seen dancing on a nearby park bench. Onlookers soon became confused upon watching the mascot urinate in a "canine fashion".

The police were reluctant to approach the troubled individual but did manage to obtain the mascot's identity, a one Avram Jetski.

Jetski, 71, was reportedly dismissed from his job as head mascot after he was caught with a 2kg bag of cocaine and offering it to children as a sugar substitute.

The latest image to be posted is of the madman pouring a vanilla milkshake over an unfortunate vagrant.

More updates to follow...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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