Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 25 May 2014

image for The Milkybar Kid sweeps to Ukrainian Presidency win
Where Are My Snickers

Chicken Kiev, Ukraine - A former child actor who played the Milkybar Kid on Ukrainian TV ads circa 1969 has been elected the country's new President this weekend.

'Candy King' Petro Poroshenko wooed voters with a 'free pair of Snickers for every Ukrainian' campaign that's seen him snatch 85% of the vote.

Announcing the victory Prez P promised to forge closer links with the International Monetary Chocolate Fund and restore peace in restive eastern regions where pro-Russian separatists suffer rubbish cocoa products.

The tycoon owns The Choc Box, Ukraine's the most successful confectionary company which has strong trading ties to indigenous cocoa bean production in Ecuador and Colombia.

Fourbes estimated his wealth at $1.6bn (£961m) in March 2009.

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