Written by Frank Michaels
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Thursday, 15 May 2014

image for UN in Turmoil Over Individuality
UN trying to decide lunch

New York, NY - The UN today found itself in something of a quandary as a new study by desk'perts from all over the web revealed a startling truth; we're all different!

Since 1949, the United Nations has been headlong into creating a single world government but with the results of this study from the very same sources it depends upon for subjects like Global Warming, the goal has now been pushed back.

The results show that the planet has well over 7 billion human beings and that we are each as unique as our fingerprints, thus reducing any idea of us suddenly all buying into a single plan, a single leadership and a single way of life.

UN rep, DoeRay Me FahSo LahTee Doe, spoke briefly for reporters saying, "It is no longer surprising that the Security Council can never agree on a damned thing and why we always argue over fried fish, pizza or burgers for lunch."

Beginning next week, a new council tribunal will begin meeting to try and iron out the differences. One idea submitted would include threatening burger lovers with barbecued whale ribs and those whose repeated demands for pizza is a headache, be fed meal-worm tacos.

LahTee Doe closed by saying, "This has to stop! We either all eat the same garbage or climate change is going to warm over our last night's dinner!"

More on this breaking story as it becomes available.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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