Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 6 May 2014

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In addition some is suspected of being on their period

Lagos, Nigeria - Reports from the Nigerian capital Lagos today say that Islamist nutjobs Boko Haram may have been duped into parting with hundreds of thousands of US dollars in 'transaction facilitation warranty' payments after advertising the sale of 276 abducted teenage Nigerian girls on the fundamentalist Halal eLay website.

The classic email scam has already fleeced hundreds of cult members including Boko Haram bigwig Kamel Ali Kamel who lost a packet just as his promising, fledgling teenage abduction business looked like it was really about to take off.

That was just the beginning of a run of bad luck which fellow Boko Haramers are now blaming on a fraudster ring run from an internet cafe at Lagos' Voodoo Karma, a hexed local hearse limousine dealership.

Speaking to NewsCorpseAfrika stringers this morning Kamel said, "Everyone was ready to negotiate satisfactory ransom for abducted girls when tragedy stuck in the form of a black mamba; now five girls is dead and plenty more stick. Uh, sick.

"In addition, some is on their periods."

The BOGOF period runs until next week.

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