The innovative and flamboyant Ccmedy star and Mayor of London, Boris Johnson has returned from a successful mission in Russia and The Ukraine to solve the problematic tank congestion crisis.
Exasperated Tank Commanders with nowhere to park have been parking their vehicles in large groups on spare land near Ukraine's border with Russia. Measures introduced include traffic cameras, a congestion zone, traffic wardens, tank traps, "Green" propaganda and double yellow lines.
Loading and unloading restrictions have also been applied and tank clamping squads deployed. Multi-Storey tank parks have been commissioned along the entire length of all borders. Revenue is flooding into London from parking, non speeding fines and trivial lane infringement penalties. "Its money for old rope, I intend to expand the scope of this cash cow world wide and there will be no more wars as a side effect. Who is a ridiculous buffoon now eh?" Boris said this morning.