Written by Jack Allen
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Topics: God

Monday, 19 May 2014

image for Man Sues God
"Thou shalt not give a flying fuck about you".

A man is suing his maker after he walked straight into oncoming traffic; blaming the poor senses and intelligence level his God has given him.

According to witnesses of the accident, Jamie, 32, was oblivious to his surroundings due to his headphones being at full volume. He then crossed the road without looking and was hit by a Corsa. Jamie's pelvis and legs were broken in the accident, making him instantly more aesthetically pleasing than the Corsa.

Jamie then contacted injurieslawyers4u, who are allegedly struggling to contact his maker. Sources within the company have stated that he/she has not been seen for a considerable amount of time by a few, never by others, and dead with a fork in its gut by the majority. This has made prosecution difficult but has also further highlighted the blame culture present in today's society.

However, this latest incident has brought the last few honest people in the country together to form a small company entitled 'Injury?Fuckyou!', which provides the general public and companies with expert legal advice on how to counter sue anyone who makes a more ridiculous claim than stating they shot their girlfriend in their own home but should not go to prison. Luckily, no story that ridiculous has surfaced as of yet.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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