Written by victor nicholas
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Friday, 18 April 2014

image for Famed Explorer to Search for Missing Flight MH 370
It is an X we seek

Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak has announced that he has called on retired gentleman explorer Victor Nicholas to discover the remains of flight MH 370.

"We owe it to the families of the victims of this tragedy to use all means to search and discover the missing plane and Nicholas is the right man for the job."

Nicholas is renowned for his adventures in uncharted territory, the discovery of the source of the Bumbaloola River, the first to descend to the bottom of the Great Upside-Down Mountain and an unfortunate habit of using run-on sentences.

While efforts to date using technology and CNN panel discussions have failed Nicholas plans on a new search method he calls the "Dot-to-Dot" method.

Speaking at the monthly meeting of the Gentlemen's Explorers Club Nicholas laid out his brash plan for a new search that left those attending cheering and gasping in astonishment.

Demonstrating boldly with a large felt pen and a flip chart Nicholas explained. "All journeys have a beginning and an end that can simply be diagrammed by placing an X on a map at the start and at the end and then connecting each X with a dashed line."

"We know with great certainty where flight MH370 departed from, so we are half-way there. We can place our first X in Malaysia and go forward from there with full confidence that we can draw a dashed line from that point and let our momentum drive us forward towards a successful outcome!"

"It is no wonder that so many have failed in this search looking for flotsam and jetsam and using a plane to find a plane."

"It is not a Ping" that will lead to the site of the missing aircraft the venerable explorer announced. "It is an X we are looking for."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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