Written by joseph k winter
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Friday, 18 April 2014

image for Master tour for war art across the globe planned to include Syria, Ukraine, and Iran, guarded by sundry military units
The tour will begin shortly and involve the entire globe

Inspired by President George W. Bush's recent entry into the world of art, a new tour is being launched to inform and charm the globe on current and developing wars.

Chancellor Angela Merkel offers a large self-portrait, with her left hand holding a cell phone to her ear.

Her right hand is squeezing the neck of a small male figure with ear phones identified as NSA, clearly desperate for breath.

Her representative has clarified the theme of this piece "is not personal," and that the Chancellor realizes "war is hell."

Mr. Bibi Netanyahu's masterpiece will hold a salutary place in the exhibition, being the first canvas that art appreciators will encounter directly inside the entry doors.

It will feature an enormous bomb descending on Iran with the title "The Final and Only Solution."

Solidly enthused on, and supported by FOX news, MSNBC, The New York Times, and CNN, Senator McCain's oeuvre shows a long train of ground troops with tanks and F-15E Strike Eagle jet fighters entirely surrounding Syria.

In support of this effort Saudi Arabia's king Abdullah bin Abdulaziz Al Saud has created a gigantic canvas portraying the Saudi-US alliance.

Smiling Saudis and Westerners wearing suits with small US flags in their lapels are shown at a barbecue spreading wide across the desert.

Syria's Bashar Assad is clamped across a smoking grill with head raised and eyeballs protruding.

Running around this figure like the Lilliputians with Gulliver are tiny figures (Syrian army, or possibly civilians) hopping up and down to avoid the flames.

Mr. Kerry has developed a theme featuring Victoria Nuland, Samantha Power, and Hillary Clinton, as sirens.

Lightly clad in diaphanous gowns for a mildly erotic effect, these ladies wave a peace banner over a desert scene.

The banner is embroidered with falling bombs, troops on the ground, and tanks. It reads "(fill in the blank) must go."

Meanwhile, the new and arresting center-piece of the exhibition has already brought advance raves from Brussels and 10 Downing Street.

A new sensation has emerged from Washington, following up on his recent op-ed piece in The Washington Post, recommending ground troops on Russia's border "to quell the crisis in Ukraine."

This new dynamic artist is Mr. James Jeffrey, formerly Deputy National Security advisor to Mr. George W. Bush.

Mr. Jeffrey's superb wall-to-wall and fifteen feet high abstract-realism shows a multiplicity of bombs, massing armies, and worldwide upheaval under the title "War is Peace."

Candidly, Mr. Jeffrey does admit some influence from George Orwell, and has modestly admitted further influence from current figures in Washington dating back to Mr. Cheney, Mr. Kagan, Mr. Brzezinski, and others.

The exhibition begins in Israel, guarded by ground troops from a US-NATO coalition.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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